The Power of Seeking Encouraging Advice

 

The Power of Seeking Encouraging Advice

Most people, when dealt a blow like the loss of a job or some other unexpected event, seek out those who are going through similar adversities because they think these people will better understand their plight. Although they tell themselves they are looking for advice, what they really want is sympathy. The problem is, that sympathy doesn’t solve problems. In fact, more often than not, it profounds the problem

During my early working years, when I received word of my pending layoff or company’s downsizing as we would say today, I felt the same way most people in that situation would feel. My first reaction was to contact a couple of former employees of the company who had been laid off to see what they were doing. As expected, what I got were tales of disappointment and woe. They had been unable to find jobs and their savings were running low. Bills were piling up and they were at loss as to what they would do. None of the conversations with these people gave me any hope or positive suggestions. Actually, they were downright depressing.

It is during this time that I remembered my lecturer's advice, to read an hour a day. Since then, one of the books I had read was on goal setting. At that time, it was dull and boring and I wasn’t interested in it. Facing the impending loss of my job and an unknown future, I recalled the message I had gathered from the book: “ If you don’t have goals, you don’t have direction”. When I asked myself, “What do I want out of life?” I realized that I had no idea!

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This revelation was one of the turning points in my life. Now, rather than think about where I could find another job, I was consumed with a thought about what I really wanted out of life. Based on my little work experience at that time, I couldn’t see working a job as anything more than providing me with a living. But like most people, I wanted more out of life than just having a job and normal life. I had dreams of living in a nice big house, driving nice cars, taking exciting vacations, having a yacht, and a number of other things people associate with wealth. The problem was, that I couldn’t see myself ever having these things if I continued as I had been.

Then I remembered what I had read: that goals, to be meaningful, must be specific, doable, and have a time frame for completion. And I began to comprehend that wishes are not goals, goals are what make wishes come true. What I needed were inspiring goals to guide me in life, goals that, once accomplished, would provide the things for which I wished.

The more I thought about it, the more aware I became that what I longed for more than anything was financial success. Although I was still young, I was already tired of worrying about where I would get the money for even my basic needs. I recalled many other times when people around me were able to purchase things I would have loved to have or were doing things I would like to do. As, I was facing the loss of my job and the prospect of having to count my money before I could go through the checkout line at the grocery store, surely, this is not the way I wanted to live my life.

One night as I lay in bed pondering the impending financial difficulties facing me, I suddenly say upright and shouted, “Why can’t I be rich?” Then it dawned on me that I didn’t have a goal to become rich. How could I expect to achieve a goal that I didn’t have? How would I even know if I made it if I had never defined “rich”? I stayed awake pondering the future and finally arrived at a simple statement that defined the goal and would guide me for the next 30 years.

I pick up a notebook and wrote: I will have $1 million by age 45 and retire by age 55. That’s all it said, nothing fancy, no comments or suggestions about how to do it, just a simple statement about what I wanted and when I would achieve it.

The next morning, I took out the notebook and looked at what I’d written: I will have $1 million by age 45 and retire by age 55. As I stared at the words, a chilling thought passed through my mind: Is this really possible or am I just kidding myself?” The written goal was to have $ 1 million by age 45 let me see that finding another similar job was not the way to go. It didn’t tell me what I should do, but it definitely showed me what not to do.

Recalling the advice my mother had given me as a child, “if you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it,” I know that if I wanted to be successful, I would have to learn from the winners, not losers. If my goal was to have a million dollars by age 45, I would need to seek advice from successful people, people who had achieved success, or at least understood what success was.

Again I turned to my lecturer for advice. “Having goals is great, but they need to be realistic”, my lecturer told me. I said, “The idea came to me a few nights ago, I am now looking for ways that can help make it happen. I know it seems impossible right now, but until I give it my best effort, I‘ll never know for sure whether it’s possible or not. Now, I am exploring all options and looking for the best way to get started.”

“Have you thought of furthering your studies or taking up a course as this would help you in your career?” my lecturer asked. “ I don’t know if it will make you a million dollars by age 45, but if you work at it and are successful, you probably make much more than you’re making now,” he told me.

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That comment got me thinking. I thought about continuing my studies while working, as this would help me in my career progression. Somehow, I got my job back and the first year of studying while at the same time working was difficult. I had to put in more time, more energy than I had previously. Sure, my income was down as I have to supplement my studies, but my knowledge and my spirit were high and I was in control of myself. I rose through the rank and file and didn’t have to worry about being fired or layoff. Through the knowledge gained and from the money I have saved, I invested in properties and made quite a tidy sum. I did not have a million dollars by age 45 but I have enough to live a comfortable life and have not many worries about paying the bills.

The biggest lesson learned here was also one of the simplest: Investing requires sacrifice. Whether it’s time or money, investing means setting it aside for future benefit. If you invest time in learning a new skill or knowledge, that same time can’t be used for fishing, watching a movie, or doing some other fun activities. If you invest money in doing some side business, that money can’t be used to buy a new car, a motorcycle, or purchase some other fun toys.

Remember, what you spend for today pays for today, but what you invest today, pays for tomorrow.

That’s all for now my friends. See you all in my next article.