If You Are Wrong, Admit It

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If You Are Wrong, Admit It

There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s error. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness but often helps solve the problem created by the error.

Any person can try to defend his or her mistake and most people do, but it raises one above the rest and gives one a feeling of nobility and triumph to admit one’s mistakes.

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Chang, my middle age university friend from Shanghai, has been estranged from his son for many years. He was a compulsive gambler but was now cured of his gambling addiction. In Chinese tradition, an older person can not take the first step. Chang felt that it was up to his son to take the initiative toward reconciliation. he told me about the grandchildren he had never seen and how much he desired to be reunited with his son. The change felt that young people should have respect for their elders and he was right in not giving in to his desire, but waiting for his son to come to him. After many years of waiting, Chang finally has the courage to break this old Chinese tradition and go to his son to ask for forgiveness. Chang said, “it is too late for me to admit it quickly, but I can admit it emphatically. I wronged my son. He was right in not wanting to see me and to expel me from his life. I may lose face by asking a younger person’s forgiveness, but I was at fault and it is my responsibility to admit it.” I applauded him and gave him my full support. After a few days, when I met him, he told me he was now embarking on a new relationship with his son, his daughter-in-law, and his grandchildren and was very pleased with himself.

During my days in manufacturing, when some of my supervisors told me that they didn’t agree with certain decisions I have made, the day before and ended up calling me this and that, I will answer them like this: “Come to think of it, I don’t entirely agree with it myself but I need to make a decision. Not everything that I did yesterday appeals to me today. I am glad to learn what you think about the subject. The next time, you see me making. this kind of decision, you must tell me and we can thrash it out.”

My relationship with my supervisors improved much further after this. When we’re right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong, and that will be surprisingly often if we are honest with ourselves, let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will this technique produce astonishing results, but, believe it or not, it is a lot more fun than trying to defend oneself.

I remembered I delivered a rush job to a client, and he called the next day to see him immediately. He said something was wrong. I went there together with my sales executive and when we arrived, we found just what I have anticipated and dreaded. He was hostile and demanded with heat why I had done this and that. So I said, Mr…. , if what you say is true, I am at fault and there is absolutely no excuse for my blunder. I have been doing this long enough to know better. I am truly sorry for this blunder.

Immediately, he started to tone down his voice. “Yes, you’re right, but after all, this is not a serious mistake.”

I interrupted him and said that any mistake is serious and they are all irritating and annoying. “ I should have been more careful”. I said. “ You are our regular customer and you deserve the best, so I am going to redo this item all over.” I continued.

“No, No need for that,” he said. “I would not think of putting you to all that trouble.” He assured me that he wanted only some minor changes and the errors hadn’t cost his firm any money and no delay and there was nothing much to worry about.

My willingness to admit my mistake took the fight out of him. he ended up taking my sales executive and me to lunch and before we parted, he paid for the item.

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Remember the old proverb: “ By fighting, you never get enough, but by yielding, you get more than you expected.”

That’s all for now, my friends. See you all in my next article.

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